Monday 6 April 2020

17th Century Sex Scandal

It just goes to prove  there is nothing new under the sun. What Millenials think of sex today young people in the 17th Century had already thought of back in their day, and done it. It was just hidden.

In 1687 a musical broadsheet (or the MTV of the day) released a ballad called:

The Female Captaine or The Counterfeit Bridegroom.

It was called after a scandal that appeared in the Bloomsbury press. An eighteen year old woman Mary Williams, put on men's clothing and started to court a young woman in Bloomsbury with the consent of her friends and family.

She called herself Captain Charles Fairfax and pretended she was heir to the Fairfax fortune. When the young woman's family heard this, they were only too pleased to have her settled with a rich young man of fortune.

They were married by a Jacobite Parson who provided the ring, the wedding clothes and the wedding feast. Everyone involved was hoping that the young woman's new husband would be generous when they had settled in their new home.

They lived together for a whole month without the 'Captaines' true sex being found out. It was said she had used a strange instrument on her new wife during the act of generation.

An old woman discovered the sordid affair by accident, she had known the 'Captaine' as Madam Mary Plunkett,when she was a whore, and reported her to the authorities.

She faced a court, was judged a cheat and a charlatan and sent to the New Prison at Clerkenwell where she spent the rest of her life.

Her life spawned one of the bawdiest ballads of the century sung to the tune of "Ladies of London." It was popular for about a year, being reprinted many times.

 

Wednesday 1 April 2020

All fools day 2020


All fools Day, or hunt the Gowk Day.

In the 17th Century, the best method of making April Fools was to send them on pointless errands. Such as a glass of pigeon's milk, or fetching striped paint or a jar of elbow grease.

Gowks are Cuckoos, and the chicks appear in other birds nests around this time. Gowk was a word also used for jokes. They used to pass the "Gowk" on, as one was fooled with a prank another had to think of one to do to someone else, and so it passed on.

Such an old tradition that in my father's day apprentices were sent to look for a left handed spanner, (you can probably get them nowadays) or a skyhook!

Today no-one has told the natural world that we are in the middle of a disaster. Our apple trees are blast of leaves and flower buds. Goats in Llandudno have decided to visit the town now it's less busy! In France wild Boars are rummaging through village streets.

Magpies and crows have been busy breaking twigs off the huge oak tree at the bottom of our garden to make nests. I saw a red admiral butterfly yesterday.

The swamp of our flooded garden is starting to dry out and Rhubarb, Chives, Rosemary, Lavender, are growing like mad. Even my perfume rose has got leaves.

In these dark times it shows life goes on. Spring will come every year, lambs will jingle about on their new little legs, birds will nest. The urge to get Spring Cleaning and get out and about will be strong. Do the first not the last.  Keep safe and well everybody.