Thursday, 20 December 2012

Two weeks off!

No work, no writing, no e.mails, no twitter, linkedin or blog after this one for two whole weeks.

Two weeks of doing fun stuff. Drawing, painting, cooking, making clothes, going out with my friends and partying and planning next year's holidays and outings.

I realise when I write this blog that some people may get the wrong idea about me, well that's something that never changes. I have had my foot stuffed in my mouth so hard sometimes it's amazing I haven't choked!

Most people who know me well enough to know that, I don't go out of my way to cause trouble but I do it unconsciously. If  I see a wrong that needs righting, or a friend who needs protecting, even if it's from themselves. I'll just jump in without thinking.

That's the thing. The not thinking.  Perhaps these people should be left alone. Perhaps the drama of what's  happening doesn't need a solution least of all from me.

Every Problem has a Solution - that's what my father ingrained into me and it's taken me years to realise that there are some things that just can't be solved.

There will always be wars. People will always fight, bullies and stalkers will roam about making other people's lives a misery, no matter how confused you are by a situation, or how much you apologise, there are always hard-hearted people who will never forgive or forget. For every Angel there is a Demon.

I am too ready to forgive, too easily emotionally blackmailed, too soft for my own good.
I take on board all sorts of problems and hope by helping with them that will make everything ok for everyone. But it doesn't happen.

All that happens is that I am resented and even hated for it, everythings ok now and it had nothing to do with you - BYE - P.S if I ever see you again I'll spit in your face.

Some of the problems I have solved for others are listed below.

Don't tell my secrets to my husband to be, if you do he won't marry me.
I don't want to get married to her, can I stay here till everything settles down.
I'm leaving him for someone new.
She's run away - help me look for her - she's going to commit suicide. 
I don't have a job my life has just crashed and burned.
I can't get off drugs.
I think I've got VD.
I need money desperately I can't pay my bills.
Look after my dog/cat/hamster/rat/ex girlfriend.
I'm not well can you be with me?
Look after my ex- he's going to need all the friends he can get.

So much of my time, my blood pressure, my love was put into making it all right for other people and
I forgot about myself. I had a stress heart attack trying to help others.  I should have remembered
Charity begins at home.

Then when it was all right and everything ok again it was as if seeing me caused embarrassment and I became persona non grata. I wish I had known that would have happened.   Now everyone is fine and dandy and I am blogging away stewing in my own juice!

Anyway that it the last kind of thing like this I am going to write, I think I am completely purged now and feel better for it. I have lots of lovely true friends who I will help only if they ask, a husband who is the love of my life who I will spend more time with and I am going to have a FANTASTIC life!

No comments:

Post a Comment