Too clever for my own good

I have just failed an interview because I was too knowledgeable. Do I have to dumb down now?  If I could think of something fluffy and stupid and waste time and money making little pink things that look like hearts would I make money? Probably.  But because my interest is history and sometimes it's not fluffy and pink
no one wants to know.

But History is exciting and relevant, our lives despite the technology are closer to the past than anyone might think. Nothing really changes, people never really learn from history ancient or modern. There are still wars, famine, slaves, debt, fashion, food, whatever life is made of repeats in circles.

I write this blog for me. I started writing it to promote my book, but as no one is reading my blog it's not working.   Sex sells the old 30s ad line said - it's as true today.

I could write pornographic crap like Shades of Gray, but I choose not to, it denegrates women and men.
I want people to discover, be enlightened, have adventures and laugh and learn and add to the world they live in.   Aldous Huxley's Brave New World was not too far from the truth.  In his book children learn about sex from a very early age, no-one grows old, everyone is pretty and sex and entertainment are the same thing.

Their world is run by slaves called Epslion Morons, living below the city, who collect the rubbish and feed the people allowing sex drugs and rock an roll above.  Nothing moves on people are bored, no new discoveries, no new anything. Same old same old.

Time has come to open our eyes to our world, see beauty in the sunsets, discover the new, be it fashion or medicine or knowledge or  adventure.  There is so much for us still to explore and do.  Let's not become jaded by drink and sex, it's ephemeral. (Sorry dumbing down here - translation -It  doesn't last.)

Any museum or old house has items of beauty that still thrill today, pictures, embroidery, statues, pottery,
they will outlast an orgasm any day of the week. Livers will get shot with drink, all bodies decay, but a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Frustration

I need my own house, I need to paint walls and drill holes to put our art up, I want a dog and a tabby kitten,
I want to be able to put my plants in my garden and not be constantly moving! I hate living in rented with it's magnolia walls and dodgy cooker and heating. I have looked at 250 houses now shown Andy 12 of them made offers on 3 and every time it's fallen through. Grrr....   Why is it so hard to find our home this time?
I want a house with gas and electricity - I want a woodburner - I want character- and a big garden with an apple tree or two.  I am also frustrated with my work, or the lack of it! I have to remind myself that I have  a good life in general, although this year has not been good healthwise with 29 visits to A&E under our belt so far.  That's not counting the usual colds/flu,bugs etc doctors visits. Well, as Andy says at least we are getting our moneys worth out of the NHS, but I'd rather be healthy and not have accidents and injuries - surprisingly none of them from re-enacting on the battlefield.

Been a frustrating year over all, 3 jobs, 3 cars, sold caravan to get an increased deposit for a house that fell through. Parts of my book are on hold at moment because picture research has ground to a halt, and I haven't heard if I have got the WI speaker job or the historical interpreter job.

Sometimes I dream I am back at the Beeb, swinging through the corridors to the editing suites, lining up the days work, collecting the scripts, marking up the camera moves, sitting in the gallery with the director and producer and discussing what we are going to do, filming really interesting stuff, eh! Dates me now everything is digital, no more rushes to discover that you left the lens cap on during a four hour shoot!! (I've never done that - but I know people who have!!)  Walking through studio sets and the bacon rolls at the canteen and
trying to avoid having Pizza in the middle of a night shift (no wonder I have a gastric ulcer now). I actually dream I go to work all night and I wake up happy in the morning.

Trouble is after that kind of work and commitment, when you leave what are you fit to do? All my life has been in TV companies and the last ten years since I left have been hell, unlike others made redundant I did not take to drink, or kill myself, or just give up. I have tried and tried to live without my friends, the job I loved and that meant so much to me, and get on with my life, I worked freelance for a while, employed myself, ran my own holiday cottages, and went into Museum work to follow my other passion - history
but nothing beats that feeling of setting up your camera and taking your stuff to post production after a shoot.

Oh well, back to the present time and the stuff of life.

Old links

I got to thinking about my life the other night, it seems 3am in the morning is the time to do it, when the rain is drumming on the windows and my husband is gently breathing and fast asleep. I thought about my early life at the Beeb and the friends I had in the eighties and wondered what they were doing now.  We used to have long lunches and take picnics into the fields around the OU and sit and laugh and talk about everything. One of my friends Suzette had a gas mask collection, another Ian, used to come in wearing dungarees and no tee shirt - guys were fitter in the 80s!! There was Mikie who had amazing black curly hair and only ever wore black, Leslie who was after Mikie, never knew if they got it together or not, and me. I never had any money in those days and lived on Mars bars and Twixes. One of my friends from that time Babs, now lives in France and is restoring an old Napoleonic fort.  I guess everyone else is sprinkled across the media like sugar on a cake.

I miss my job, I miss the responsibility of it. I miss meeting famous people. I miss being a female Tekkie.
People I have been in a lift with when I did my meet and greet job with the Beeb were Charlton Heston,
Tony Curtis, Charlie Drake, Frazer Hines, Jonny Ball, Khalid Aziz, Patrick Stewart, Jenny Agutter, Craig Charles, Danny Jon Jules, Richard Burton and his brother!, Sophie Aldred and many many more. My brain is still bunged up with flu germs - just as well or I could go on about this all day!

It's a pity life is transitory because I still haven't got to grips with everything yet. So much more to do.

Anyway I have an interesting parcel that's just arrived - so you have been let off for today!

Flu Flu Sick Sick Flu

Corny I know but what else can you say when you have a head full of cotton wool and your legs don't work better today though because of bigger doses of painkillers. I looked at the box this morning and thought there's enough perscription drugs here to kill a rising superstar. Anyway spent the morning filling in my new phone book and phoning friends - as I had the phone book handy!!

I'm hoping my legs and brain will work in some co-ordination by the weekend as I have a 40s re-enactment to do.  I am as white as a sheet and even scare myself when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Missed an interview at Oxford that I am annoyed about - but perhaps it wasn't meant to be - and that was fate taking a hand.

So onwards and upwards and possibly outwards as I am living on toast as I can't really be bothered with much else. Oh well time to get on with the few things I can do on the computer like paying bills.

Have you noticed though that if any big companies owe you money they take an age to repay it?

C'est la vie ma amies. Au revoir a demain.

Here I go again!

Well, haven't written for a time, been busy, bought a new car took the sports model back, wasn't me.  Smart expensive and terrified to leave it anywhere. Now have a 4x4 Red workhorse that I have christened Ruby.
It has such a large boot that we can sleep in it. Made for picnics and loading lots of stuff into the back of.
We used it to take all the booze up to Sulgrave for our party.  What a fabulous time, laughed my head off got very drunk drinking champers like lemonade danced all night to a fab band and Stuart provided enough food to feed half of Oxfordshire - we both took stuff into our places of work. Our friends were wonderful and danced and ate and drank and laughed and danced some more.  Later that week I had an audition in front of 130 women of the WI and I am waiting to hear if I am going to be put on their list of  speakers for next year.

Was supposed to have an interview at Oxford University today but have had flu for two weeks since the party and now feel sick and dizzy, aching all over, today has been the best day of the two weeks and I'm still not great. While I was waiting for my audition a women ran out of the hall and threw up - great - just what you need before you go on to speak to a hall full of people.

Now I know how she feels.  So I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.  Speak again later if I ever get rid of this thing.