My search bar is full of "how long does it take to die from a sword slash?" Sword Slash? Buy Sword Slash on Amazon competitive prices. What?
Then I learn what the most common places to stab are, then black banners come across the screen, saying Parental Guidance advised.
So I went to the Viking re-enactors site, who give the warning "If you don't want to see wounds then leave this page."
Yeap wounds a plenty including one where a Vike axe accidentally almost cut off another Vike's hand with an Axe and the bones were sticking out.
When on the USA Trauma site I saw what they called one of the most common cuts they deal with, men being sliced by the rotor blades of their boats.
By this time I was in need of a sick bag/and or cup of tea so got up to hobble to the kitchen,
(I still have crutches after my knee cap dislocated weeks ago). The door bell rang time and again, and again, I shouted "Hang on I'm coming!" but the Postman couldn't hear me as he was by now hammering on the window of the door.
I opened the door and was given a box and some lettters. "As you're at home most of the time can you take in parcels for the rest of the crescent?" He asked, "I've got loads."
No, I can't go delivering parcels I'm on crutches.
"I'll get them to come to you." He thought he was making a good offer here.
No, I don't want that.
What I should have said is, I am on CRUTCHES it is a pain to get up and answer the door
especially lots of times.
"Do people take stuff in for you?"
No. I don't want that.
By now he could see I was getting angry. He's paid to deliver the post not me, should have said that but it went out of my head.
"I'm not forcing you - you don't have to." He said going to the van.
I hobbled back into the house with the box which turned out to be the Obi Wan Kenobi meetcat toy I ordered before Christmas, a begging letter from the Blue Cross and a letter from the Doctors wanting to check my medication.
I phoned the Doctors receptionist. "What medication?"
Receptionist: "Not sure."
Me - listed my medications.
Receptionist - found it Dioxigen,
Me I'm not on Dioxigen
Receptionist: It's on your notes.
Me I've never taken it - the notes are wrong. I have had nothing but trouble with you secretaries when I went to the knee clinic you sent me an appointment but not the Hospital I had to wait from my appointment time 2.30 to 4.30 because they had to find my notes.
Receptionist, I'll get the Doctor to ring you about your Dioxigen then ok? Byeee.
Me Copious Swear Words into thin air.
Why can't anyone use common sense? When I first had my knee accident I arrived at X ray all splinted up and in a wheelchair, with offending LEFT knee stretched on a support because I couldn't bend it. X Ray right knee the Receptionist said taking the paperwork.
Me and husband. LEFT KNEE.
Receptionist - says Right Knee here.
Me and husband, Look here pointing to bandaged and splinted knee - definately LEFT KNEE!
Receptionist, - Sorry you'll have to wait while I go to the Trauma Clinic and check which knee it is.
Me and husband look at each other in despair.
It's bad enough to constantly have stuff happen to me, but having to deal with this just makes everything worse.
I've even lost my flow today with the writing. I suppose I am still writing. Writing the Blog is writing or is it just moaning about life a lot?