Monday 7 March 2016

So tired......so I'm gonna rant!

So tired that today I accidentally erased the nice photos I put up the other day when blogging.

Went to Hednas night club last Saturday night, and got a bit drunk! Couldn't see in the dark and trod on peoples' toes! Conga'd till 1 am. Last Hednas till Christmas on the 10th December, the day after my birthday.   Briliant to get into the 1940s kit, even my victory rolls stayed in!

Got up at 10 on Sunday with a slight headache and had to go and get some milk in Sainsburys.

Could hardly get out of the village so many people were visiting their mums with chocs, flowers and wine, the pub car parks were full with appreciative children and their mums.

I have got to say my son didn't send me anything as usual.  But hey, he's the one missing out. 

To treat myself for being a great mum and saving his life twice - I bought myself a couple of thermal tops in the Sainsburys sale half price. A huge bunch of flowers and a cactus that looks like a heart.

We had a lovely roast dinner in front of a roaring fire, and watched old films on NOWTV. and cuddled down out of the cold for the night. 

I wish I could stop thinking about the little bastard.  He calls me all sorts of names and blames me for all his failures.  Naturally, I was the one forcing him to bunk off Uni and
smoke marijuana till he couldn't stand up. 

He fails to mention that it was me who dragged his drugged up arse back home, cleaned him up, and my darling hubby got one of his friends to get him into the Norwich School of
Art to re-start his career. 

Apparently I was the one who made him "poor" despite the 17K I gave him to help him out over the past 10 years.

I also paid for his girlfriend and her mum to come and go from Japan.  Apparently
I was horrible to her, by trying to bring her into the family by talking to her and taking them both out to dinner whenever they visited.

Oh yeah, and buying them shoes when they were walking round in a freezing winter in canvas worn out plimsolls, guess what ? I took them to Shoezone, they were having none of that, we ended up in Shue with two pairs of expensive designer boots.
 
She was sullen and prone to outbursts if she didn't get what she wanted, and had tantrums like a 3 year old child. She cried like a shot puppy if you said anything to her.

Never once did I get more than 3 words at a time from her, and neither of them EVER said
thanks for letting them live rent free with food and entertainment all in with us - or letting them have our Cornish cottage for their holidays - also free.

I wasn't invited to their wedding, in fact they changed the date in case I turned up.
Someone had told them I wanted to stop it and being easily led, they believed it. 

NO I just wanted to be there and support my only son on one of the the most important days of his life.

I have TRIED everything with that boy but since the drugs - THANK YOU KEELE UNI you really looked after my son, NOT.  He's not right, paranoid and miserable. I see his facebook page and he looks like he's forgotten how to smile.

Everyone who knows him says to me he's always been easily led and has an addictive personality.   That much I know.  He's got it into his head that I am the cause of all his problems and that I need treatment because I must be mentally ill. Reverse that and you might be somewhere near the truth.

Suppose I might be, to waste so much love, time and money on one spiteful nasty character who has turned out like my ex, his bi-polar father.  Perhaps he's inherited that. He does look more like him than me.

Trying to talk to him now is like poking a wasps nest - the only thing that comes out of him stings and is venomous.

PHEW!!  Thank you sincerely BBC for the Creative Writing course. They encouraged all of us to write without censorship. Not to think:  "I can't write that, what if it upsets somebody?
What if my mum reads it?"

So there you have it, the yearly Mothers Day rant. I thank yew, I thank yew. Applause.


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